Almost a month since my last blog post and what can I say....this new way of *being* has simply been PHENOMINAL!!! I cannot say enough about it. I have even started my very first personal training group whereby I have them going through this same process. To be able to EAT, and eat enough to fuel my day...unbelievable. And the results continue...I am sleeping better than I EVER have, running and recovering to the point I have to watch my training log so I remember to take a rest day once in a while, I have NO anxiety, my moods are stable, I am able to do a fairly intense weight training routine 5 days a week, yard work for 4 hours? No problem. You want me to move that 3 yards of mulch? You got it. AWESOMESAUCE. I know this is a long slow process, but the hcanges I see in my body after 4 months makes me giddy :) I have muscles where I never have before. I have given myself a year to totally change my body/eating/running as I know I will have to tweak as I go but the goal is to be in the best shape of my life and I feel like I am well on my way to that goal. Though I had planned on not racing at all this year so I could focus on getting in good shape, I did enter 2 races...it will be interesting to see how that goes, and compare it to what I will be able to do NEXT year. :)
Running has been good...I really believe that my dedication to strength training has and is paying off. I feel SO much stronger during runs and on hills. I recently did a 50k where my body felt great sans the nausea(I will get to that) and I was slow, but really COULD have pushed harder. I notice that on my several-times-a-week runs up the mountain, I feel great and recover with no issue. Hopefully all this hill running will help me at the Hundy in June...it is a fairly flat course compared to what I normally train on....but that is not the issue that concerns me.
Nausea. Dear gawd. It has plagued me forever. Somewhere around the 4hr mark it starts. My gut starts to roll, and twist and food does not go down so well, and liquids slosh, and I get the quease....and since NO race I run is done in 4 hrs this is a problem. Sometimes I can find something to calm it down but it has varied every race. There is NO way to finish 100 miles on no food. SO I need to remedy this right quick. Thus far I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of....nothing is a tried-and-true cure...
I asked other ultra peeps for advice and so far here is what I have come up with: Salt pills need to be taken AFTER I eat something. I need to eat a variety of REAL food. I need to slow down and walk more. Those of you who run with me KNOW I am already pretty damn slow...but I don't do a whole lot of walking, nor do I take regular walk breaks as in the run/walk strategy. So, this weekend I headed out to see what I could do. I planned to walk/run with no mile going above 20 minutes(I was on the mountain so there are some steep and challenging parts that slow me down) the goal was actually to do between 12-20 min/miles. This is a pace that will allow me to finish under the cut-off for both TARC and Ghost Train, which are my only 2 races this year(so far) So...21 miles later...I felt great! 5 hours, no nausea, I ate real food THEN took salt pills, drank enough and due to the walking my gut had tme to digest. I got home and EASILY felt like I could have gone further, felt fine the next day and ran with no issue. I was a little sore as my hiking muscles are not what they should be, lol. My plan for my next 3 or 4 long runs is to do the exact same thing I did this time, so I can be SURE this will work. As a back-up plan, I do have some meclazine, which is an over-the-counter anti-nausea medicine which I may test on a long run to see how it makes me feel. There is no way for me to create ALL senarios for race day as runing 4-6 hours is NOT the same as running 28-30. Heh. :)
I have my pacers all set- a friend and his wife are going to alternate and pace me from 50-90 and hopefully my Hubs will pace me the last 10. I know myself and will prep my pacers of what to say, and possibly had the Hubs meet me a few times before he runs with me, and he WILL get me through the last 10 miles. This is the man who coached me through 3 natural births...I figure the pain will be pretty equal to giving birth at that point, lol. My dear friend is going to take my kiddos and dog overnight so we don't have to worry about them(and I don't have a reason to stop...I get very emo about my kids during races, and seeing them...during something like this...yeah...)Now its just continue to get the miles in, eat and sleep well, get my supplies ready and wait! I am starting to get excited now...SO many people I know are running and volunteering, plus it is the very FIRST 100 miler in MA! Pretty cool :)
I have another post about my PT brewing...I am getting VERY clear on my *mission statement* as I am working with some pretty cool women right now...but that will have to be another post for another day...the trail is calling... :)
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Happy.
I am SO emotional these days. Not in a bad way, in a *Damn, I just love EVERYONE* kind of way. Maybe its the changes I have made in my life. Maybe its the fact that I am FINALLY getting healthy and healing after YEARS of, well, trying to get healthy and heal, lol. Perhaps its because I wake up in the morning and NO longer base my day by what the scale says. Perhaps its because I am fueling my body AND brain, getting enough sleep, and working out and feeling GOOD about myself. Ya know, when you love yourself, you can love others. When you love yourself, you allow others to love you as well. Its amazing.
I am just BLOWN AWAY by the fact that I have made such MAJOR changes in my life. YEARS, I tell ya...YEARS of disordered eating, starving, restricting, fasting, etc, etc...refusing to believe concrete SCIENCE that says Hey, you...you need to EAT. You need to eat ALL of the food groups. Then, you need to MOVE your body. Sleep. Everything else will sort itself out. Know what? Its TRUE! :) I am happier with my *self* now then I probably ever have been. I am not the smallest I have been, I have clothes in my closet that DO not fit, and may ever fit again. But I *FEEL* good. I have energy. I am happy. I don't have anxiety, short temperedness, moddiness, etc- all the things that made me a rather unpleasant person to be around...*I* didn't want to be around me!
I had probably 6mo of a pretty bad time of it in my life, and then the fallout from that...it was NOT pretty. But, I was able to turn that around and now? I cannot imagine going *back*. This does NOT mean I don't have bad *moments*...I do. Those old tapes...man, they play when you least expect it. But, I am getting better and better at turning them off. I am focusing on the progress I see and feel- the muscles that have come out due to my workout. How much stronger I feel when I am out running. How much better I can SLEEP at night.
Who knew EATING would be at the root of all that improvement? ;) Its true.
This weekend, I am hosting my very first class as a Personal Trainer. The main reason I wanted to become a trainer was not to work with a bunch of gym rats or muscle heads in the gym. Its because I wanted to help REAL people, mainly women, get control over thier lives, their health and their power. We are supposed to be, by much of society's standards, seen and not heard. Eye candy. Small. Don't take up too much space. Guess what? Not any more!!! I want to help EMPOWER women to CLAIM their health and strength, to BOLDLY AND STRONGLY occupy their space. I want to show women that its ok to eat enough food and you MUST do this in order to heal your body and be fit and strong. Diets become a thing of the past...to the point that I won't even sell or give away my *diet* books bc I don't WANT anyone else to read them! I am recycling them as I will never use them again.
Its all pretty amazing. I know it will be a slow and steady process. For me, for anyone who embarks on this journey. But SO very worth it. If I can do it, anyone can. It is indeed a marathon though, not a sprint and I am willing to do the long, slow distance to get there... :)
I am just BLOWN AWAY by the fact that I have made such MAJOR changes in my life. YEARS, I tell ya...YEARS of disordered eating, starving, restricting, fasting, etc, etc...refusing to believe concrete SCIENCE that says Hey, you...you need to EAT. You need to eat ALL of the food groups. Then, you need to MOVE your body. Sleep. Everything else will sort itself out. Know what? Its TRUE! :) I am happier with my *self* now then I probably ever have been. I am not the smallest I have been, I have clothes in my closet that DO not fit, and may ever fit again. But I *FEEL* good. I have energy. I am happy. I don't have anxiety, short temperedness, moddiness, etc- all the things that made me a rather unpleasant person to be around...*I* didn't want to be around me!
I had probably 6mo of a pretty bad time of it in my life, and then the fallout from that...it was NOT pretty. But, I was able to turn that around and now? I cannot imagine going *back*. This does NOT mean I don't have bad *moments*...I do. Those old tapes...man, they play when you least expect it. But, I am getting better and better at turning them off. I am focusing on the progress I see and feel- the muscles that have come out due to my workout. How much stronger I feel when I am out running. How much better I can SLEEP at night.
Who knew EATING would be at the root of all that improvement? ;) Its true.
This weekend, I am hosting my very first class as a Personal Trainer. The main reason I wanted to become a trainer was not to work with a bunch of gym rats or muscle heads in the gym. Its because I wanted to help REAL people, mainly women, get control over thier lives, their health and their power. We are supposed to be, by much of society's standards, seen and not heard. Eye candy. Small. Don't take up too much space. Guess what? Not any more!!! I want to help EMPOWER women to CLAIM their health and strength, to BOLDLY AND STRONGLY occupy their space. I want to show women that its ok to eat enough food and you MUST do this in order to heal your body and be fit and strong. Diets become a thing of the past...to the point that I won't even sell or give away my *diet* books bc I don't WANT anyone else to read them! I am recycling them as I will never use them again.
Its all pretty amazing. I know it will be a slow and steady process. For me, for anyone who embarks on this journey. But SO very worth it. If I can do it, anyone can. It is indeed a marathon though, not a sprint and I am willing to do the long, slow distance to get there... :)
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
And the miracle continues...
I really cannot get over it.
I mean...eat? In moderation? REAL food? Exercise and lift stuff? THAT'S IT???? Holy. Shit.
Truth. That is ALL there is to it. No magic diet, pills, shake, etc is going to give you what you will GET by eating REAL food, moving your body, strengthening your body, being hydrated and getting some sleep. Its so simple its mind-numbing...and it works. I am on week 3(or 4? I am so excited I have lost track of time, lol) and my weight is the most steady-without-dieting it has EVER been. I have energy. I am stronger during runs. I am happy and on an even keel. I thoroughly enjoy LIFTING stuff that is HEAVY! (to the point I am eyeing things on my runs...like, *I wonder if that guy would let me take that old tractor tire so I could move it around my yard...*) My body has changed more in the last 2mo than it has in my entire adult life of trying to change it! Some of that is me accepting that I will never be a size 2, nor do I want to be. Accepting that I will be bigger than that has been HUGE. That being said...I found that I was wearing jeans that, a month ago were *muffin-toppy* (never a good look) so I put them away...only to find that now they slide right on...no muffin top here! That's not due to weight loss...that's due to muscle GAIN. And I am PSYCHED!!!
Things that have changed? Well, I have not done measurements yet as I do them once a month but I am sure that has changed. I am stronger for sure. More energetic. Sleeping better. Warmer. For real. This is HUGE. As someone with a thyroid disorder, I am ALWAYS cold. There are about 2 months a year that I am warm. The rest of the time I am always dressed warmer than, well everyone, lol. Now? I am actually WARM. My hands and feet are not ice cubes. My metabolism is actually WORKING. My hair and nails are growing. Things many people don't think of...well, those things don't work right when you are under nourished!
The whole lifting thing? omg...I am always thinking of things to add, when can I lift heavier, SO look forward to that workout every day! :) And I LOVE the conversations it has started with my kids...my youngest asked if he did all the exercises I did every day would he get muscles? :) My daughter, who is naturally very muscular, overheard me say that and came to me after and said *I am so glad you called me muscular, because I like it!* This is a girl who has not been *brainwashed* by the media, and who thinks models are *WAY too skinny!!!* I hope she never loses that :)
And have you gone to the site I told ya about? YOU MUST!!! https://www.facebook.com/#!/gokaleo?fref=ts
If you don't go and see the results, and the women who are actually EATING and are OK well...I feel for you. This has changed my life and the way I will work with women in the future for sure. I know it works as it worked for me. It will work for you. :) Its unbelievable. Well, it was...I am a believer now!
I think the biggest issue for me was the MENTAL change that took place. I think a REDICULOUS amount of women struggle with diet/disordered eating but it goes WAY beyond the food. I have found, sadly that body image issues and the subsequent need to *diet* and restrict food stem directly from a history of abuse in MANY women...physical/emotional/sexual or some combination thereof. It becomes a subconcious way to control/numb/block feelings, and the connection is SO strong...some don't even realize its happening or why. But...when you DO recognize the connection, then you need to heal the body AND the mind. Its recognizing tht you DESERVE to be nourished, to be healthy and strong. That your body is a beautiful temple and you have every right to care for it and feel good living IN it. You need to see your body through new eyes and realize it is NOT the enemy. It has been profound for me...I know I do not see in the mirror what others see and I know its from many, many years of disordered eating, as well as disordered thinking due to abuse. Well...no more. I am learning a NEW way to *see* and I could not be happier about it. I have a ways to go, but I DESERVE to feel good about myself and I am really starting to. It is an incredibly liberating feeling to know you can tke care of yourself as you SHOULD because, well, why WOULDN'T you? You deserve it!
I know I will be working on this for some time, and this is definitely part of my Path, and I am sure I will be helping others with this as well. And then there will be a shitload of really healthy, empowered, STRONG women who look and feel FANTASTIC. We will be like a GANG or a MOVEMENT...and it will be fantastic. :)
I mean...eat? In moderation? REAL food? Exercise and lift stuff? THAT'S IT???? Holy. Shit.
Truth. That is ALL there is to it. No magic diet, pills, shake, etc is going to give you what you will GET by eating REAL food, moving your body, strengthening your body, being hydrated and getting some sleep. Its so simple its mind-numbing...and it works. I am on week 3(or 4? I am so excited I have lost track of time, lol) and my weight is the most steady-without-dieting it has EVER been. I have energy. I am stronger during runs. I am happy and on an even keel. I thoroughly enjoy LIFTING stuff that is HEAVY! (to the point I am eyeing things on my runs...like, *I wonder if that guy would let me take that old tractor tire so I could move it around my yard...*) My body has changed more in the last 2mo than it has in my entire adult life of trying to change it! Some of that is me accepting that I will never be a size 2, nor do I want to be. Accepting that I will be bigger than that has been HUGE. That being said...I found that I was wearing jeans that, a month ago were *muffin-toppy* (never a good look) so I put them away...only to find that now they slide right on...no muffin top here! That's not due to weight loss...that's due to muscle GAIN. And I am PSYCHED!!!
Things that have changed? Well, I have not done measurements yet as I do them once a month but I am sure that has changed. I am stronger for sure. More energetic. Sleeping better. Warmer. For real. This is HUGE. As someone with a thyroid disorder, I am ALWAYS cold. There are about 2 months a year that I am warm. The rest of the time I am always dressed warmer than, well everyone, lol. Now? I am actually WARM. My hands and feet are not ice cubes. My metabolism is actually WORKING. My hair and nails are growing. Things many people don't think of...well, those things don't work right when you are under nourished!
The whole lifting thing? omg...I am always thinking of things to add, when can I lift heavier, SO look forward to that workout every day! :) And I LOVE the conversations it has started with my kids...my youngest asked if he did all the exercises I did every day would he get muscles? :) My daughter, who is naturally very muscular, overheard me say that and came to me after and said *I am so glad you called me muscular, because I like it!* This is a girl who has not been *brainwashed* by the media, and who thinks models are *WAY too skinny!!!* I hope she never loses that :)
And have you gone to the site I told ya about? YOU MUST!!! https://www.facebook.com/#!/gokaleo?fref=ts
If you don't go and see the results, and the women who are actually EATING and are OK well...I feel for you. This has changed my life and the way I will work with women in the future for sure. I know it works as it worked for me. It will work for you. :) Its unbelievable. Well, it was...I am a believer now!
I think the biggest issue for me was the MENTAL change that took place. I think a REDICULOUS amount of women struggle with diet/disordered eating but it goes WAY beyond the food. I have found, sadly that body image issues and the subsequent need to *diet* and restrict food stem directly from a history of abuse in MANY women...physical/emotional/sexual or some combination thereof. It becomes a subconcious way to control/numb/block feelings, and the connection is SO strong...some don't even realize its happening or why. But...when you DO recognize the connection, then you need to heal the body AND the mind. Its recognizing tht you DESERVE to be nourished, to be healthy and strong. That your body is a beautiful temple and you have every right to care for it and feel good living IN it. You need to see your body through new eyes and realize it is NOT the enemy. It has been profound for me...I know I do not see in the mirror what others see and I know its from many, many years of disordered eating, as well as disordered thinking due to abuse. Well...no more. I am learning a NEW way to *see* and I could not be happier about it. I have a ways to go, but I DESERVE to feel good about myself and I am really starting to. It is an incredibly liberating feeling to know you can tke care of yourself as you SHOULD because, well, why WOULDN'T you? You deserve it!
I know I will be working on this for some time, and this is definitely part of my Path, and I am sure I will be helping others with this as well. And then there will be a shitload of really healthy, empowered, STRONG women who look and feel FANTASTIC. We will be like a GANG or a MOVEMENT...and it will be fantastic. :)
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Running, lifting and eating. Who'da thunk it?
I cannot tell you how over the moon I am. Seriously, I am stupid excited that I finally GET IT!!! WooHoo!!!
I get that in order to be healthy, TRULY healthy, you have to eat. Like, enough to fuel your life. And you need to MOVE, and lift things that weigh a LOT. And its ALL GOOD!!!
I have been incredibly emotional this past week. Mostly because I have finally found what I have been searching for for so many years...PEACE WITH MYSELF.
You see, disordered eating, constant *dieting* or restricting, trying to eat to fit some sort of dogma or spiritual bruhaha...yeah, no. I was startving myself without even realizing it. I was starving my brain, my body and my soul. I *thought* I was some sort of zen package of awesomesauce, eating raw, or vegan or *enter clean eating/blahblahblah here* and I was SO far off base...
In the last 2+ weeks I ate REAL food. 3 meals in a day MOST days, or 2 meals and a few big snacks...lots of protien, veggies, carbs(omg) chocolate(of course) FATS(eeek!) wine(duh) I drank some green smoothies because I WANTED them, my body craved them...not because I had to or omg-I-am-not-clean-enough...
Though my weight has actually gone back up I am ok with it. Because I proved to myself that by eating I feel better, have more energy, am happier, can sleep better, do more, lift more, run more...need I SAY more? :) I also know that I will lose the weight my body does not need as I build muscle. And let me tell you about my muscle...I have always coveted shoulders. Guess who has them? Oh, yeah...that's right. Calves? Yep. Honkin' biceps? Hell yeah...I am eyeballing the tractor tire down the road and wondering if the house its at will let me take it so I can move it around my yard. :)
This past few weeks has LITERALLY changed my life. When I set out to become a Personal Trainer, I knew it was because I wanted to help people, specifically women, who had battled years of basically what I have gone through...but I was still going through it so how the hell was THAT going to work? Then the Universe dropped a few choice internet *saviors* into my life, along with me FINALLY commiting to the long slow distance and now I not only have the clarity on HOW I can help others, more importantly I got the clartity on how to help myself...who knew?
Now, I am doing 5 days a week of weight training which I add to weekly. I am running 50-60mpw average, which I expect will change as the weather warms and I get even stronger and leaner...but the biggest blessing to me is how I FEEL. I have NEVER in my adult life(aside from perhaps when I was pregnant) felt comfortable in my own skin. Even though I have a ways to go to get where I want to be, I am starting to feel comfortable NOW. And by golly...it is nothing short of amazing. :)
I get that in order to be healthy, TRULY healthy, you have to eat. Like, enough to fuel your life. And you need to MOVE, and lift things that weigh a LOT. And its ALL GOOD!!!
I have been incredibly emotional this past week. Mostly because I have finally found what I have been searching for for so many years...PEACE WITH MYSELF.
You see, disordered eating, constant *dieting* or restricting, trying to eat to fit some sort of dogma or spiritual bruhaha...yeah, no. I was startving myself without even realizing it. I was starving my brain, my body and my soul. I *thought* I was some sort of zen package of awesomesauce, eating raw, or vegan or *enter clean eating/blahblahblah here* and I was SO far off base...
In the last 2+ weeks I ate REAL food. 3 meals in a day MOST days, or 2 meals and a few big snacks...lots of protien, veggies, carbs(omg) chocolate(of course) FATS(eeek!) wine(duh) I drank some green smoothies because I WANTED them, my body craved them...not because I had to or omg-I-am-not-clean-enough...
Though my weight has actually gone back up I am ok with it. Because I proved to myself that by eating I feel better, have more energy, am happier, can sleep better, do more, lift more, run more...need I SAY more? :) I also know that I will lose the weight my body does not need as I build muscle. And let me tell you about my muscle...I have always coveted shoulders. Guess who has them? Oh, yeah...that's right. Calves? Yep. Honkin' biceps? Hell yeah...I am eyeballing the tractor tire down the road and wondering if the house its at will let me take it so I can move it around my yard. :)
This past few weeks has LITERALLY changed my life. When I set out to become a Personal Trainer, I knew it was because I wanted to help people, specifically women, who had battled years of basically what I have gone through...but I was still going through it so how the hell was THAT going to work? Then the Universe dropped a few choice internet *saviors* into my life, along with me FINALLY commiting to the long slow distance and now I not only have the clarity on HOW I can help others, more importantly I got the clartity on how to help myself...who knew?
Now, I am doing 5 days a week of weight training which I add to weekly. I am running 50-60mpw average, which I expect will change as the weather warms and I get even stronger and leaner...but the biggest blessing to me is how I FEEL. I have NEVER in my adult life(aside from perhaps when I was pregnant) felt comfortable in my own skin. Even though I have a ways to go to get where I want to be, I am starting to feel comfortable NOW. And by golly...it is nothing short of amazing. :)
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Epiphany...several, actually.
So, I think in my last post I mentioned some health concerns, et al. I did see my NP and she ran a bunch of bloodwork to check everything and voila...perfectly healthy. Well, she did omit some thyroid tests by mistake but I am not overly concerned with those results anymore. If adjustments need to be made, we will make them. Her conclusion to why I was all sorts of messed up, gained weight and generally was a mess? Delayed Stress Reaction.
The more I thought about it, the more I really had to agree. So I started looking into this. I had a TON of stress in my life- at home, at work, stress I was putting on myself...so I got on it. My home stress has been GREATLY reduced, my hours at work are now less, and I have been looking at how I am treating myself and addressing that. Getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, keeping an eye on my training and eating. Yes, eating. Let me explain...
So for a million years, probably like every other woman, I have *dieted*. Sometimes it has been healthy changes, like becoming a raw vegan, sometimes it has been by way of disordered eating, fasting, etc. I have followed SO many of the prescriptions that Less Is More.
Guess what? WRONG!!! And I proved it to myselff over the last 2 weeks or so.
I have long known I am not eating enough calories. Between the amount of running I do, plus now strength training, keeping up a household, etc, etc...yes I am sitting on my butt on FB but the sitting vs moving time? I am moving far more AND working! Well, it really hit home on a run with a friend a few weeks ago. She is a wisp of a thing, all muscle, runs, lifts and looks great. She does hard-core shit like Death Races and such and is a huge inspiration to me. Well, she told me how many calories she HAD to eat in a day and it was a reality slap for me. I EASILY out weigh her by, well, alot, even on a good day and I thought crap...I am not eating enough! When you do not consume enough calories to support your lifestyle, your body goes into starvation mode. Yo can hang there for a while, but eventually you will not be able to continue your active lifestyle without a LOT of effort. You will not build muscle, you will lose strength, endurance, feel crappy, become moody...AND, like me, you may not loose weight...even GAIN it! That is a stressor!
I just spent HOW many months studying nutrition? Yeah. Well, apparently my head got it but the rest was slow to follow...and I needed to see something in *real life* before I got it. And I did get it. :)
I have struggled for so long to remain an vegetarian/vegan as I am morally against eating anything I cannot kill and prepare myself. I was also doing the whole *raw* thing...which DOES have some benefit, and I truly believe that. What I have come to learn is VERY few people can LIVE that way(raw). I also was struggling with raw because my gut is SO trashed from years of antibiotics for Lyme. That may or may not be something that I need to continue with...so I need to factor that in. Best way to heal your gut? Probiotics. Pills are good, REAL probiotics are better. Kefir is super. Dairy kefir is best. Guess what I now drink? I have found that eating cooked foods are much easier on my system(less *stress*) so thats what I do. And I am eating protien. LOTS of it. Eggs, fish, cottage cheese...
Basically, I figured I need betweed 2500 and 3000cal. to support my lifestyle. I also probably need 100g of protien, minimum. I have no idea how close I am because to track that is very triggering for me to become obsessed and I need to break that mindset. Now I simply try to eat 3 meals a day, all of which must contain protien. I am eating lots of cooked veggies. I eat at least half an avocado a day, use Udo's oil, fruit whenever. I have stopped *snacking* and started eating. Ftas are not bad! Carbs are not bad either! Granted, I cannot eat certian things due to allergies, but I CAN eat other things and do :)
Guess what? In 2 weeks of probably eating more, and more healthily than I have in who-knows-how-long, I LOST 5lbs. I expect that slow loss trend to continue until my body finds its comfortable weight. I have noticed a HUGE change in the last 6 weeks of strength training as well. Muscles I thought were never to be seen again, I am stronger on runs and in general. I *feel* better, I am not as moody, anxious, or bitchy. It is nothing short of a MIRACLE. :)
So, what tipped the scale for me? ;) I stumbled upon this gal's blog: http://gokaleo.com/
Clearly, she is someone who was not *born skinny*...she worked and look at her now. I know not all women want to look like this but....at over 40 I sure as hell do! Regardless, her message is simple and practical and will work for EVERYONE. Eat. Figure out what your body needs for calories for the day then eat what you need, no more. Make healthy choices eating REAL foods, nutritious foods, not frankenfoods or packaged crap and you will be fine. And you know what? She is absolutely right. It is INCREDIBLY hard for someone with a thyroid disorder to lose weight. 5lbs in 2 weeks. Perfectly healthy weight loss and most likely fat. :) Right here, baby. (She also has a facebook page and a private group you can join....you MUST follow her, she is amazing and it will lead you to meet a bunch of other equally amazing people who are eating, getting healthy, fit and strong! Its AWESOME!)
The other key piece for me was protien. I just was not getting enough to support healing my body health-wise AND to fuel my body for exercise and recovery(I am allergic to beans, nuts AND soy. Um...yeah). Now I can REALLY tell if I have not had enough and that is after only 2 weeks! And getting it from REAL foods, not bars or shakes...SO much better. I have been under-nourished and taxing my system for so long, now its doing the happy dance :)
I still have a ways to go. I still have to fight the tapes in my head saying I am eating too much(when I STILL am probably not at enough calories...but I will get there!) I expect that this will be a HUGE healing for me, and will help me tremendously in my Journey to help others on their health quests. Eat. Exercise. Strengthen your body. It really is THAT simple :) Wow.
Other sites I recommend checking out:
http://ancestralhealthcoach.com/
https://www.facebook.com/#!/gokaleo
So...name of the blog has to change as well... :)
The more I thought about it, the more I really had to agree. So I started looking into this. I had a TON of stress in my life- at home, at work, stress I was putting on myself...so I got on it. My home stress has been GREATLY reduced, my hours at work are now less, and I have been looking at how I am treating myself and addressing that. Getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, keeping an eye on my training and eating. Yes, eating. Let me explain...
So for a million years, probably like every other woman, I have *dieted*. Sometimes it has been healthy changes, like becoming a raw vegan, sometimes it has been by way of disordered eating, fasting, etc. I have followed SO many of the prescriptions that Less Is More.
Guess what? WRONG!!! And I proved it to myselff over the last 2 weeks or so.
I have long known I am not eating enough calories. Between the amount of running I do, plus now strength training, keeping up a household, etc, etc...yes I am sitting on my butt on FB but the sitting vs moving time? I am moving far more AND working! Well, it really hit home on a run with a friend a few weeks ago. She is a wisp of a thing, all muscle, runs, lifts and looks great. She does hard-core shit like Death Races and such and is a huge inspiration to me. Well, she told me how many calories she HAD to eat in a day and it was a reality slap for me. I EASILY out weigh her by, well, alot, even on a good day and I thought crap...I am not eating enough! When you do not consume enough calories to support your lifestyle, your body goes into starvation mode. Yo can hang there for a while, but eventually you will not be able to continue your active lifestyle without a LOT of effort. You will not build muscle, you will lose strength, endurance, feel crappy, become moody...AND, like me, you may not loose weight...even GAIN it! That is a stressor!
I just spent HOW many months studying nutrition? Yeah. Well, apparently my head got it but the rest was slow to follow...and I needed to see something in *real life* before I got it. And I did get it. :)
I have struggled for so long to remain an vegetarian/vegan as I am morally against eating anything I cannot kill and prepare myself. I was also doing the whole *raw* thing...which DOES have some benefit, and I truly believe that. What I have come to learn is VERY few people can LIVE that way(raw). I also was struggling with raw because my gut is SO trashed from years of antibiotics for Lyme. That may or may not be something that I need to continue with...so I need to factor that in. Best way to heal your gut? Probiotics. Pills are good, REAL probiotics are better. Kefir is super. Dairy kefir is best. Guess what I now drink? I have found that eating cooked foods are much easier on my system(less *stress*) so thats what I do. And I am eating protien. LOTS of it. Eggs, fish, cottage cheese...
Basically, I figured I need betweed 2500 and 3000cal. to support my lifestyle. I also probably need 100g of protien, minimum. I have no idea how close I am because to track that is very triggering for me to become obsessed and I need to break that mindset. Now I simply try to eat 3 meals a day, all of which must contain protien. I am eating lots of cooked veggies. I eat at least half an avocado a day, use Udo's oil, fruit whenever. I have stopped *snacking* and started eating. Ftas are not bad! Carbs are not bad either! Granted, I cannot eat certian things due to allergies, but I CAN eat other things and do :)
Guess what? In 2 weeks of probably eating more, and more healthily than I have in who-knows-how-long, I LOST 5lbs. I expect that slow loss trend to continue until my body finds its comfortable weight. I have noticed a HUGE change in the last 6 weeks of strength training as well. Muscles I thought were never to be seen again, I am stronger on runs and in general. I *feel* better, I am not as moody, anxious, or bitchy. It is nothing short of a MIRACLE. :)
So, what tipped the scale for me? ;) I stumbled upon this gal's blog: http://gokaleo.com/
Clearly, she is someone who was not *born skinny*...she worked and look at her now. I know not all women want to look like this but....at over 40 I sure as hell do! Regardless, her message is simple and practical and will work for EVERYONE. Eat. Figure out what your body needs for calories for the day then eat what you need, no more. Make healthy choices eating REAL foods, nutritious foods, not frankenfoods or packaged crap and you will be fine. And you know what? She is absolutely right. It is INCREDIBLY hard for someone with a thyroid disorder to lose weight. 5lbs in 2 weeks. Perfectly healthy weight loss and most likely fat. :) Right here, baby. (She also has a facebook page and a private group you can join....you MUST follow her, she is amazing and it will lead you to meet a bunch of other equally amazing people who are eating, getting healthy, fit and strong! Its AWESOME!)
The other key piece for me was protien. I just was not getting enough to support healing my body health-wise AND to fuel my body for exercise and recovery(I am allergic to beans, nuts AND soy. Um...yeah). Now I can REALLY tell if I have not had enough and that is after only 2 weeks! And getting it from REAL foods, not bars or shakes...SO much better. I have been under-nourished and taxing my system for so long, now its doing the happy dance :)
I still have a ways to go. I still have to fight the tapes in my head saying I am eating too much(when I STILL am probably not at enough calories...but I will get there!) I expect that this will be a HUGE healing for me, and will help me tremendously in my Journey to help others on their health quests. Eat. Exercise. Strengthen your body. It really is THAT simple :) Wow.
Other sites I recommend checking out:
http://ancestralhealthcoach.com/
https://www.facebook.com/#!/gokaleo
So...name of the blog has to change as well... :)
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Still trudging along...
....still trying to sort myself out.
Health stuff...yeah. I finally made an appointment to see my NP as I am at a 15-20lb weight gain over the last several months despite the fact I am not sitting aound eating bonbons and pizza all day. My diet has not changed ALL that much, or rather, the amount of calories has not changed beyond possibly being LESS as when I get stressed I DON'T eat...add to that some other symptoms that I won't get into here, and the latest symptom- headaches. Oy. I have not had a headache outside having the flu or something in YEARS. Now, I am having one almost daily. Starts around noontime, and continues sometimes all day. Yeah...motrin doesn't touch it and I won't take anything stronger than that. So...its time to get some bloodwork done. Timing is perfect as I see the NP on Tuesday and then the following week I see Dr. MoW for my 6mo check-up. Mostly its just for Rx refills but with everything going on right now it would be good to have those labs back by the time I see him.
Despite all the aforementioned garbage, I will say I am noticing some benefits of my increased in weight/strength training. Though I am not *seeing* the changes under the padding(UGH!) I can definitely feel them. I have felt physically stronger on runs. Even on days when I am feeling sluggish, I find that my ability to climb hills with less effort is improving, which I like. I did a 5hr jaunt through the trails/woods/over the mountain last weekend in a snowstorm and felt really good the whole time, had no trouble with any climbs and was not overly tired when I was done. Proof to me that this is definitely a good addition to my *program* :) I knew I could not exist on running alone, and being slow already, adding to that not being physically strong overall...yeah. SO this is good. Not looking to get faster necessarily(though the slowness from winter and extra weight can go to Hell)but being able to run farther and stronger are welcomed improvements.
I decided that regardless what I find out with my Dr's. I am going to do a 30 day Raw Food Challenge. Basically involves eating raw vegan for 30 days. Starting today through March 31st. It can't hurt, and any time I have been out of whack in the last bunch of years, it has always helped to go completely raw. It is a very healing diet. Though I can't say how long I will be totally raw, I know for this 30 days I can do some healing. And, who knows...with Spring/Summer coming...perhaps it will carry on through until Fall as I will have access to so much produce... :)
Running is going well....mileage is creeping back up...over 200miles for February which I haven't seen since Nov/Dec :) I have 2 FA runs this month...both 50k which is the perfect distance for me. Neither are races, both are more fun runs which is pretty much all I am after at this point. Though I did sign up for one race this year...I am doing Ghost Train 100 in October...I figure if I am going to try and do 100, that's the place to do it, and the fact that I am really not doing any other races this year means I won't be over-raced by october...Plus its a good gage of progress/fitness that gives me 8mo to sort out things...then I will know what I want to do for 2014. I have a few things in mind and I really want to KNOW I have a shot at accomplishing them. This year will be very telling.
This morning...an easy 10 miler, probably a trail run tomorrow...good times. :)
Health stuff...yeah. I finally made an appointment to see my NP as I am at a 15-20lb weight gain over the last several months despite the fact I am not sitting aound eating bonbons and pizza all day. My diet has not changed ALL that much, or rather, the amount of calories has not changed beyond possibly being LESS as when I get stressed I DON'T eat...add to that some other symptoms that I won't get into here, and the latest symptom- headaches. Oy. I have not had a headache outside having the flu or something in YEARS. Now, I am having one almost daily. Starts around noontime, and continues sometimes all day. Yeah...motrin doesn't touch it and I won't take anything stronger than that. So...its time to get some bloodwork done. Timing is perfect as I see the NP on Tuesday and then the following week I see Dr. MoW for my 6mo check-up. Mostly its just for Rx refills but with everything going on right now it would be good to have those labs back by the time I see him.
Despite all the aforementioned garbage, I will say I am noticing some benefits of my increased in weight/strength training. Though I am not *seeing* the changes under the padding(UGH!) I can definitely feel them. I have felt physically stronger on runs. Even on days when I am feeling sluggish, I find that my ability to climb hills with less effort is improving, which I like. I did a 5hr jaunt through the trails/woods/over the mountain last weekend in a snowstorm and felt really good the whole time, had no trouble with any climbs and was not overly tired when I was done. Proof to me that this is definitely a good addition to my *program* :) I knew I could not exist on running alone, and being slow already, adding to that not being physically strong overall...yeah. SO this is good. Not looking to get faster necessarily(though the slowness from winter and extra weight can go to Hell)but being able to run farther and stronger are welcomed improvements.
I decided that regardless what I find out with my Dr's. I am going to do a 30 day Raw Food Challenge. Basically involves eating raw vegan for 30 days. Starting today through March 31st. It can't hurt, and any time I have been out of whack in the last bunch of years, it has always helped to go completely raw. It is a very healing diet. Though I can't say how long I will be totally raw, I know for this 30 days I can do some healing. And, who knows...with Spring/Summer coming...perhaps it will carry on through until Fall as I will have access to so much produce... :)
Running is going well....mileage is creeping back up...over 200miles for February which I haven't seen since Nov/Dec :) I have 2 FA runs this month...both 50k which is the perfect distance for me. Neither are races, both are more fun runs which is pretty much all I am after at this point. Though I did sign up for one race this year...I am doing Ghost Train 100 in October...I figure if I am going to try and do 100, that's the place to do it, and the fact that I am really not doing any other races this year means I won't be over-raced by october...Plus its a good gage of progress/fitness that gives me 8mo to sort out things...then I will know what I want to do for 2014. I have a few things in mind and I really want to KNOW I have a shot at accomplishing them. This year will be very telling.
This morning...an easy 10 miler, probably a trail run tomorrow...good times. :)
Friday, February 22, 2013
One foot in front of the other...
Because really, what else can you do?
I am sick. AGAIN. Its ok, as I am REALLY hoping it is still my body trying to re-set itself. I used to never get sick when my Lyme was at its worst. Well, let me rephrase that- I never got *normal* sicknesses. I had Lyme sickness and that was enough, lol. Now, I have had the flu-from-hell in January which I think I never 100% recovered from, and that led to a touch of pneumonia, and now whatever crud I have now...which is URI in nature- congestion, swollen glands, feverish, etc...sigh. I still believe my body will straighten itself out, but moderation has never been my strong suit...
The insane stress of the last 6 mo is mostly over. Still some lingering stuff but nothing too crazy, thankfully, so that is one thing off my list. Trying to pay more attention to my diet, TRYING to not over do it with training(now THAT is funny) and getting enough sleep(another funny) and staying hydrated...seem like such basic things, but for someone who does not always choose to take the best care of herself(I am at the bottom of the list, ya know...)yeah.
I tried the natural route for some time and unfortunately, in being my own doctor, I messed up a few things. I always vote for the natural route first so I don't regret it but...probably should have gone on antibiotics sooner. Its just that knowing i need to be on them 6mo out of the year for Lyme doesn't exactly make me want to take them any other time. Ugh. But, at least this is a *normal* run, nothing crazy. I also ROYALLY screwed myself up by going off the LDN. Thinking I didn't *need* it for the Lyme anymore(I had stopped taking it in December some time, plus my insomnia was so bad I NEEDED to sleep) I stopped taking it. Well, I had the Candida to deal with (done) and should have gone back ON it but no...not realizing what a HUGE affect it was having on my Hashimoto's...yeah. One of the other off label uses is for Hashimoto's. I can pretty much guarantee my thyroid is COMPLETELY off its rocker based on my symptoms.
I know I have posted links before, but in case anyone new is reading and deals with any sort of autoimmune disorder and you are not using narcotics for anything I HIGHLY recommend loking into this. This is LDN- http://www.lowdosenaltrexone.org/ They took down their info on its use in Lyme patients, which is unfortunate. It really only works in about 50% of Lyme pts which sucks, but I m VERY grateful to be one of the 50%. My immune system was f*cked up enough that it worked for me and as a side bonus, it helped stop my thyroid from killing itself. Yay! :)
So, told you that to tell you this....I have started BACK on the LDN. Clearly, Lyme is NOT the only health issue I have and not the only thing the LDN helped. Even after 2 days back on, the increase in endorphins is noticable and my anxiety, which was becoming a HUGE issue, is decreased. It also may be why I am sick now, as it does have a way of stirring things up at first, which is fine. I knwo it works and inside a month I will be straightend out and right as rain...or aomething close to that. :)
In addition, I am doing a raw *feast* cleanse type of deal...lots of smoothies and fruits for the next week or so partly to give my system a break, partly to clean up and clean out...good thing to do with Spring approaching...and I am feeling the need for it. I am going to back off my running distances a bit, which is hard, but I know while my body is readjusting to meds I need to be gentle with it...not something I am good at...so, shorter runs for the short future :)
And that, my friends, is that. :)
I am sick. AGAIN. Its ok, as I am REALLY hoping it is still my body trying to re-set itself. I used to never get sick when my Lyme was at its worst. Well, let me rephrase that- I never got *normal* sicknesses. I had Lyme sickness and that was enough, lol. Now, I have had the flu-from-hell in January which I think I never 100% recovered from, and that led to a touch of pneumonia, and now whatever crud I have now...which is URI in nature- congestion, swollen glands, feverish, etc...sigh. I still believe my body will straighten itself out, but moderation has never been my strong suit...
The insane stress of the last 6 mo is mostly over. Still some lingering stuff but nothing too crazy, thankfully, so that is one thing off my list. Trying to pay more attention to my diet, TRYING to not over do it with training(now THAT is funny) and getting enough sleep(another funny) and staying hydrated...seem like such basic things, but for someone who does not always choose to take the best care of herself(I am at the bottom of the list, ya know...)yeah.
I tried the natural route for some time and unfortunately, in being my own doctor, I messed up a few things. I always vote for the natural route first so I don't regret it but...probably should have gone on antibiotics sooner. Its just that knowing i need to be on them 6mo out of the year for Lyme doesn't exactly make me want to take them any other time. Ugh. But, at least this is a *normal* run, nothing crazy. I also ROYALLY screwed myself up by going off the LDN. Thinking I didn't *need* it for the Lyme anymore(I had stopped taking it in December some time, plus my insomnia was so bad I NEEDED to sleep) I stopped taking it. Well, I had the Candida to deal with (done) and should have gone back ON it but no...not realizing what a HUGE affect it was having on my Hashimoto's...yeah. One of the other off label uses is for Hashimoto's. I can pretty much guarantee my thyroid is COMPLETELY off its rocker based on my symptoms.
I know I have posted links before, but in case anyone new is reading and deals with any sort of autoimmune disorder and you are not using narcotics for anything I HIGHLY recommend loking into this. This is LDN- http://www.lowdosenaltrexone.org/ They took down their info on its use in Lyme patients, which is unfortunate. It really only works in about 50% of Lyme pts which sucks, but I m VERY grateful to be one of the 50%. My immune system was f*cked up enough that it worked for me and as a side bonus, it helped stop my thyroid from killing itself. Yay! :)
So, told you that to tell you this....I have started BACK on the LDN. Clearly, Lyme is NOT the only health issue I have and not the only thing the LDN helped. Even after 2 days back on, the increase in endorphins is noticable and my anxiety, which was becoming a HUGE issue, is decreased. It also may be why I am sick now, as it does have a way of stirring things up at first, which is fine. I knwo it works and inside a month I will be straightend out and right as rain...or aomething close to that. :)
In addition, I am doing a raw *feast* cleanse type of deal...lots of smoothies and fruits for the next week or so partly to give my system a break, partly to clean up and clean out...good thing to do with Spring approaching...and I am feeling the need for it. I am going to back off my running distances a bit, which is hard, but I know while my body is readjusting to meds I need to be gentle with it...not something I am good at...so, shorter runs for the short future :)
And that, my friends, is that. :)
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