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Thursday, July 10, 2014

Looks can be deceiving.....

There has been a rash of critics circulating round the interwebs who apparently feel they have the right to critique people's bodies. And what they wear. And what they eat. Hmmm, interesting. Well, you know what they say about opinions...they are like a**holes, everybody has one. Doesn't mean they need to SHARE.

I find my knickers getting into a wad over all this opinion sharing. Because, in reality it is NOT constructive, usually hurtful, and comes from an insecure place. I mean really...why on EARTH would ANYONE care what another person eats, wears, does....unless it brings up something in THEM. Which is basically what it is. By doing what *you* do, you, GASP, may make another person uncomfortable. How dare you!!! I, of course say get over your damn self. Don't like it don't look. What part of none-of-your-business is unclear? The reality is, people gonna be people.

The latest hot button it the LOVELY woman who wore a 2 piece bathing suit. She was a larger build. She bought a suit that was made by a company that catered to larger women. Want to know something? Her suit looked GREAT. It fit her perfectly, was not letting the world see things we shouldn't, she was able to enjoy a day at the beach swimming and playing with her family/friends in the suit of her choice. But, somehow this is wrong? Because she is *overweight and shouldn't be out -like that-...* Um, wtf is THAT all about? *Like* WHAT exactly? Apparently, the thought was because she was overweight she must be a sloth who should not see the light of day, and CERTAINLY should not go to the beach and, um, be active. about that.

So, I have been doing some people watching. I have seen MANY a bathing suit as of late, as I am at the beach with my kids every day. There are the usual teene-boppers  in their cute bikini's, there are the mom's in appropriate *mom suits* and kids in all sorts of suits. Then there are the teens who may be a bit more sturdy, wearing the cute bikini's but appearing very insecure about it and trying to hide their body while still *fitting* in with their friends. There are some larger women who are ROCKING 2 piece suits. There are other women still that clearly not a f*ck is given and they wear whatever and are loving every minute of sun bathing and swimming they get. I also see many moms who aren't wearing a suit at all. Or its under their clothes. On a 90* day they are sitting in clothes, NOT enjoying the water or sun because they don't want to be *seen*. I wear a bathing suit that I feel comfortable in. Several actually. I am willing to bet people are FAR more *disturbed* by my tattoos than the suit I am wearing, lol, but I wear what I like and not another thought is given about that topic. But for many....that is not the case.

That sucks. We as a society have made women feel bad about their bodies to the point they won't even go enjoy the beach with their kids. Because they are afraid they will be judged. Not cool. I have said that beauty, health, *fit* can come in ALL shapes and sizes. I actually DO believe this. I refuse to judge someone based on how they look. I have NO idea how they got to that point- are they sick? creating an emotional shield? went through a bad time and ate for comfort and now they feel stuck? Grew up that way and know nothing else? SO many things that someone looking in has NO idea of.

For a VERY long time I was, well, obsessed with my weight/body. YEARS. I have been overweight by medical standards, and very under weight. I cannot even tell you how much time I have wasted worrying about how I looked. Getting ready to go ANYWHERE was incredibly stressful. It has taken a long time and a LOT of work on my *insides* to get to where I am now. At 5'6" I hover around 135-140. I clock in at the high end of acceptable weight for my height. 10 more pounds and I would be considered overweight by *The Charts* But here's the thing....I work out. A lot. I trained for a year to get in the shape I am and loved every minute of it. I train WITH clients now, and I run my miles for my own training. I have put on a good deal of muscle in the last year, and gone down in clothing sizes. Yet, if I go to the Dr. and they plot me on a Chart I *could* be told I am approaching overweight. (Good thing my dr's don't do that or their might be bloodshed...) Years ago that would have made me lose my mind. I would starve myself and wear the lightest clothes possible if I went in and knew I would be weighed. Really??? SO foolish. Now, I could care less. Want to know why? Because THIS body can work out with clients numerous times a day. THIS body can run up and down mountains. THIS body is not *sick* (been off antibiotics for 6 weeks now...longest time in YEARS) THIS body FEELS good. And all of that has NOTHING to do with a number on a scale. My weight can fluctuate up to 10lbs in a WEEK. You wouldn't see it, but if I lost it every time that happened I would be a crazy person.

When I talk to people/clients and I ask them about their goals, I will often say I don't want a number. I do not ask for a weight unless we are figuring out calorie requirements. After that, I never ask again. I may check in to see if they are losing, but I don't care about the number. What I care about is how they FEEL. Do you feel good? Have energy? Sleeping ok? Getting enough nutrition in to fuel your life?(so many people do not eat enough! 1200 calorie diets are for people in comas, not people up and living life.) I will tell people if you want to track progress measure yourself. See how your clothes fit. Look for muscle development and how much better you are feeling by being more active. Because I have NO idea what your perfect-for-YOU body size will be. Maybe its a size 6...maybe its a 12? 20? Basically it is the size that is best for you. The size you can maintain with ease, with a workout routine you enjoy, eating enough good food to keep you energized, THAT is the *sweet spot* So, whatever size/weight/shape you are when you hit that point...well, there you go.

I may get a rash of sh*t from medical people, other trainers, etc because I refuse to *conform* and use the charts and weight loss and, and blahblahblah in my work with people and ya know what? Don't care. Seriously I don't. I think it puts undue pressure on people to fit into a box they may NEVER fit into and then the feel they have failed. Know what happens after that? They give up. They quit. My goal with people is that they NEVER give up because the only *box* they need to fit into is their own. I want people to accomplish little goals on their way to bigger goals. To feel positive about every step they take. To build confidence in themselves because they CAN do things and they ARE stronger and took charge of their life and did something great for THEM. Not society/a boyfriend/husband/insert someone who has no right to comment on your body of the greatest gifts I got in my own training/healing process was the realization of just how strong I am. The amazing things my body can do. That filtered over into other areas of my life. Suddenly those mountains(metaphorically speaking) I was climbing didn't seem so bad/high/rocky because I gained confidence in myself. THAT is probably THE most important thing I hope to help people find when they work with me.  I want them to find THEM. All the rest is icing on the cake. And cake. :)

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