Thoughts on running and autoimmune *stuff*...

Several days out from Stone Cat and I have many thoughts. Though this won't surprise ANYONE who knows me, lol, as I typically like to beat a dead horse LONG after its dead...

This was an interesting race. I feel like I *should* have done better, and maybe I could have had I not made the clothing/supplement mistakes I had made...maybe not. I am not disappointed with my run AT ALL. I am really happy that I did not quit(though in the moment, not so much, lol) and that I reminded myself of just how much I can do. Having had the experience of not being able to run when I was sick, and thinking I might never run again....makes me TRULY appreciate every run I do :) I simply LOVE to run, and am so grateful I still can.

While out there, though, I did think about all the races I ran and how it seemed like every other race was great, then every other race was not so great. That should tell me something, eh? I was doing a race almost every 2 weeks from June(May?) until now. I know some people can race like that but me...I really shouldn't. Mentally I want to, but I think I am physically taking a HUGE risk.

I have said to friends numerous times that I need to be so careful. My health has been great lately sans a few issues and I really don't want to risk losing that. The LDN has truly been a miracle drug for me and though I know it doesn't work for everyone with Chronic Lyme (and I SO wish it did!) I am definitely one of the lucky ones. In general, I am running the best/longest I have since starting ultras and I am so incredibly grateful for that. The few issues I am having I know are partly due to my body continuing to adjust to the LDN and my immune system trying to right itself. My last thyroid test showed NO signs of Hashimoto's, which is something else LDN helps and was amazing considering how crazy high my numbers used to be! This also tells me that my body is no longer going all sorts of nutty on itself. Well, at least somewhat..

I still seem to have trouble with stomach issues/digestion/food allergies which seem to be at an all time high right now. I noticed after SC that I just could. not. eat. Normally I will eat anything not nailed down, to make up for all the calories burned during the run. It is very hard for me to consume enough calories DURING the run as my digestion sucks to begin with, add running 50 miles to that...yeah, no. I seem to be able to manage on liquid calories, and then eat my weight in al things food the next day. This time...it was rough. I was reacting to everything I ate...even things I don't react to.  Not good.

The LDN works in phases, it seems (and so says the info on it) and this means that even though I have been on it for almost a year, I am still experiencing different affects from it. I notice that during pms I am having an immune response of some kind that feels like a relapse coming on, but only lasts about 3 days or so. Odd. I have NO seasonal allergies whatsoever, which is very cool, but the food allergies and chemical sensitivities are a PITA. Hopefully that will shift, but hard to say...I will probably get retested in Dec. when I see my immunologist the fabulous Dr. Made-Of-Win.

The tricky part of all of this is until my labs show I am over a certian number, I can't say I am *safely* well. We are getting closer...as the number we are watching that needs to be at least over 100(normal people are over 200, I was 19 when we started) and I am at 60 last check. I will be checked again in Dec and cross my fingers. It feels a wee bit like Russian Rouette and so far I have won but... you never know. Until I am in the safe zone, anything can happen. I am trying to be good but I am so NOT good at taking things easy... :) I am trying to be concious of it though...Should I take more days off? Probably. Should I taper, do less races, etc, etc? Eh, who knows. I do feel like I probably did too many based on my performance this year, not based on how I feel as I seem to recover very well. Next year though, I do plan on doing less.

I am already pretty much sure that trying for 100m in 2012 is off the table. Until I am SURE I am in the *safe zone* it is simply too big a risk, especially after what happened last time, which I am sure was part of what sent me into my last relapse. Instead, I am going to do some pacing, maybe a couple choice 50m races and then Fat-Asses and timed runs where I can simply get out and do what I love...run for a long time with some of the greatest people I know. :) I also would like to do more cross training, biking specifically, and some swimming as I am going to be doing an epic swim with a good friend of mine :)

I also need to get out on the trails more. Now that I have found the trails by my house I need to spend more time on them. I know my lack of trail training slows me down. Once or twice a month just ain't cuttin' it :) Trails are a different beast, requiring different muscles and focus...something I haven't done much of in a while...its been a LONG time since I used to run trails daily...I miss that.

Sigh. All in all, it is what it is, I suppose...time to head out for a run. :)