So I have been trying to ignore the *signs*...the signs that I hate to acknowledge...the slower recovery time, the stomach issues, the anxiety, headaches, aches, fatigue...I blame it on this or that, think I can simply push through...and then I can't.
I am not at that point yet, but it seems I am heading in that general direction. It shouldn't surprise me as it is that time of year, *my* time of year that if the shit is going to hit the fan, now is when it happens. So, instead of completely running myself into the ground, I am actually going to try and play it smart. I have cut back on running already due to my back, which is mostly better, and after what was a horrific run today and some fairly major stomach issues(not related)I know I need to cut back even more for the time being. I have only one race of ultra distance on the horizon, which knowing the RD as I do, I know I can do any distance I want there. I have a marathon and a half marathon, all in October, and I can pull those off fairly easy as long as I keep some running going. So, cut back I will...trying to eat well but with my current gut issues its been rough...add to that the wee bit of stress in my life, lack of sleep...yeah. I do NOT want to spend another season EVER as sick as I have been in the past. I just don't. So I will do what I can to prevent that, believe you me.
That all being said, I had one set of plans for next year and I may re-evaluate them based on whether or not I can actually keep up any sort of rigorous training without relapsing...I am not a happy camper about this, but I try to remember that at least I CAN still do stuff....and I am needing to stay grateful about that. There are many ways I can still do what I love, and I just need to find the ways that work best without wrecking myself. :) I tend to ignore things until it is too late because I really HATE being a *sick person* and I think I can just gogogo...and then I can't. I always have these grandiose to-do lists and I end up only getting a portion of things done...ugh.
But I think the worst part is the fact I REALLY want to be doing more training with people and how can I do that when I can hardly train myself? I need to have enough energy for my kids right now, along with taking care of myself and household stuff and with things the way they are right now...that in and of itself is a lot. Doing training and helping others towards their goals REALLY is what fills me, makes me feel purposeful in another way, beyond being a mom. I REALLY want to be doing that more but with the way things are with me right now....yeah. :(
So, I am HOPING I am cutting back in time, and the downward trend is not too far gone that I can't slow it. If I can't catch this before it catches me it may mean the abx I am on are not working anymore...which is a common deal with Lyme...I couldn't expect to take it forever and have it still work. But that means finding another one I can take, going through the *Herx* weeks again, and crossing my fingers...but I am not there yet...so we will see how it goes. Hopefully I have caught things in time and in a few weeks I will be back to full throttle again...with balance. :)